driving home from work last night. was a little before nine as i had appointments into the evening. driving somewhat mindlessly. spacing off and not really wanting to think anymore. not wanting to feel anymore. a long day with a lot going on. it started out that as i was leaving for work i backed into jon’s friend’s car sitting behind my jeep in the driveway. not a good start to the week, and not a good reaction from inside of me. not easy to stay focused and have a decent attitude for the rest of the day. but not just because of the smashed bumpers and insurance and deductibles and out of pocket expenses. something more has been brewing for a while. busyness and ‘the tyranny of the urgent’ sort of stuff going on. one of my readers sent me a facebook message asking if i was ok. i was silent. not blogging. hmmm… a reminder that possibly, just possibly i need to pay attention to the condition of my life. my heart. i need to listen not only to the rhythms of my schedule and my heart and mind, but also to what is going on around me. i told a friend this morning that it feels like i’ve merely been skimming the surface of things for a while now. not having the time or energy. rather, not taking the time nor the energy to go deeper.
this sunset was like a huge canvas being painted right in front of me as i drove west toward home last night. the Creator making brushstrokes that first caught my eye, and then found their way into my heart. why do you get so caught up in detail and schedule and forget that I’m right here? present in every moment? listen. see. take it in. be amazed by the grace that life is. be amazed that the Giver of such grace woes us if we would take note and listen. as Frederick Buechner says, “There is no event so commonplace but that God is present within it…always leaving you room to recognize him or not to recognize him…”
“Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery that it is. In the boredom and pain of it no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace.” -Buechner