monday morning. the sunrise blazing it’s way through the window on our front door, painting with vibrant gold and orange hues. the leaded glass framing of the door window shows such straight and clean lines. much like i wanted to be able to start my day. to start my work week. organized. managed. respectably within my control. and i’m not typically even a control freak sort of guy. [even though mare would say i have my own particular kind of control thing going on…]
but as work days and work weeks will often do, this one seemed to grab hold of the straight clean lines of my attempts at organization and good intention, and scatter them. disorient them. throw them into what felt like a less-than organized state. sometimes even chaotic. as far as feelings go anyway.
this sunrise photo through the front entry door… i like to compare it to the sunset on the other side of our house. the honeysuckle windbreak creates its own kind of stained glass appearance. not so straight and clean in how its lines are laid out. but it is framed in beauty nevertheless. and it speaks of my reality sometimes much more than the sunrise through the eastern window. and most days i am caught between the views. the controlled and the uncontrolled. that’s just where i live life.
Lord, you order my days. and i want to trust that you don’t allow anything to cross my path that is not in some way a part of your purpose for me and for those i meet today. much of the time i prefer to see the world like the sunrise through the window. but i have also seen rich beauty in seeing life as the sunset through the windbreak. sometimes i tell clients that we are much less in control of the things in our lives than we think we are. that statement doesn’t always sit well. it doesn’t always sit well with the counselor either [if he is an honest one].
many times i want my life to look more like the sunrise through the window in my front door, rather than like the sunset through the tangles of the windbreak in my back yard. both are a picture of beauty. both have a component of reality to them. but the glow through the tangles in the back yard is closer to reality much of the time. more natural. less controlled. less protected. and more the reality. more the reality of God being sovereign over all of life.
on any given day. any given week. what happens between the sunrises and the sunsets can be messy. confusing. seemingly random. but it is reality. and we do well to embrace both sides of it. both views.
i love what the writer of psalm thirty-one says in verse five: “i’ve put my life in your hands. you won’t drop me, you’ll never let me down.” those words remind me that i can live between these two views with meaning and purpose. and live with the friend written about in chapter fifteen of john, verse fifteen.